Skip to main content
What has changed since I last wrote?  I looked back to see lots of posts revolving around what I was reading (which I would love to continue to document here or you can follow along on Goodreads because I log everything there!).  I posted about food often as well.  I was forcing myself to think of this space as "themed and content" driven, but what I really want/need is a journal type format to mind dump.  I have a lot on my mind!  I know people will read these words (maybe just a handful of people, but people still the same!) and my new goals are simple vulnerability and honesty.  Please read with grace for a person in process.  

I think the biggest thing I am learning in this season is if something is a priority, you make time for it.  If it is not, you won't.  I have had quite a few people ask me how I have time to read with 2 little kids and a farm to manage and I tell them, I just do.  I just read a little bit here and there and listen to audio books while I am farming and read my bible with bleary eyes at 530am before my kids wake up.  Now, I am a woman with a wonderful support system.  A husband who handles more than half of our responsibilities and a family who (in normal times) fills in the gaps.  So I have no excuse.  I can read and write and exercise and get outside and cook and clean and do it all.  But to what end?  What is motivating me?  Is it love for my family and my home?  Is it Biblical truths?  Or is it obligation and do I complain the entire time?  This piece matters more than I was giving it credit for.

Life with two kids is so different.  I miss so many things that are selfish and real.   And I truly am tired.  I can choose to move forward everyday with frustrations and anger about all the things that "have to get done" and believe me when I say I have complained through the last few months and made my husband a bit crazy; OR I can move forward with grace for my family and a very real sense of humility to take care of my world.  

Henry turns 1 this Friday and my heart feels simultaneously proud that my baby is getting older and happy to put the baby stage behind us.  I am sad to see this stage pass by, since his snuggles are actually the best thing that ever existed, but believe me when I say I am grateful beyond measure for his sweet smile and for the privilege it is to raise children.  My heart expands daily and my patience is tested constantly.  

Do you ever look up and think "When did I get here?"  "How am I already at this point in life?"  or "When will life slow down?".  I have realized that we control the pace of our life, so when I feel those things, I am working to actively slow down the pace of my day and take deep breaths and acknowledge the fleetingness of any season.    

More processing to come.  Feedback is welcome.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Nursery: Whole Hearted Parenting Manifesto

I recently finished a book by Brene Brown titled, DaringGreatly .  It really moved me, and I am definitely still processing it. At the beginning of the book I wasn’t resonating deeply with the topic of vulnerability, as most people will tell you I am an “open book”.  I will answer most questions without holding back and love to deep dive into good conversation.  However, what I came to realize through her many examples is that we all wrestle with vulnerability, guilt and shame throughout this book even if is more momentary than constant.  I gleaned SO MUCH from this book that I did not anticipate, and I thought I would share this Parenting Manifesto that she put right at the end of the book.  I am printing it and framing it for our nursery, as I think it communicates some deep parts of my heart cry for parenting my kiddos well. I hope this resonates with someone else as much as it did with me.   I needed these words to remind me that parenting is not a checklist,
2 comments
Read more

A Penny For Your Thoughts - Looking Back & Missing Italy

 I took this my first day in Italy, and will always remember my town just like this... I realized something about my writing the other day, and that is that I am much more present in my writing than I am in my brain.   I am constantly thinking back, but I never write about my past.   Sure, I write a story here or there reminiscing on my African travel, but rarely do you hear about my life pre-California unless it is in reference to my family.   Lately, I have found myself pining for Italy.   Did you know I lived there?   Probably not, because I rarely mention it! I knew I was going to love it there, but it has stuck with me since the moment I left.   I have wanted to go back every   minute of every day since then.   The simplicity of life, the emphasis on slowing down, the architecture, the food, the flowers, the people, the color, the trains, the bikes, the gelato, the smiles and laughter, the wine, and the cities are only scratching the surface of things I love from the bea
Post a Comment
Read more

At the Library - May through September 2019 Reading

We had another baby in May (SO much more on that later) and blogging has obviously taken a back seat, but I am still reading for pleasure and have managed, in my sons first four months of life, to complete these 8 books!  Y'all, I remember a time when even completing 2 books a year would have sincerely sounded daunting, much less with a newborn.  If you want to read more, you can find the time!  Take stock of your days and see where you are wasting hours.  For some of these, I listened to the audio book while I was pumping or watering the garden.   Rather than give you an individual breakdown of each of these books, I just want to report I found them all incredibly enjoyable.  A total cross section of a food memoir to a psychology deep dive to nature centric novels, I would recommend them all in different capacities.   We have fallen a bit behind on our Bible reading, but we WILL finish by the end of the year. You do not make it to September
2 comments
Read more