A Penny For Your Thoughts - On Being a Godmother

These are my godsons, Eli and Aiden.  

To say I love them would not even begin to describe the way I feel about them.  

These boys are so special to me and they have an important place in my heart.  I want to help their parents protect them and show them unending love and support.  I want to make sure they never feel a moment of pain that is within my control.  I want to be around them all the time and I want them to know that I am always here for them. 

This is all hard when one of these tiny little gentlemen lives in Maryland and the other in Oregon and I live in California.  A long distance godmother is something I never knew I would be, but I am really enjoying the journey.  As they get older and understand where things are coming from I plan to send them notes, letters, gifts and reminders of what is important in life.  I want to get to Oregon to see Aiden again and squeeze those big cheeks while he is still so little, and his first birthday in November cannot come soon enough so he will be down here and in my arms.  I will see Eli in October and again at Christmastime and I can't wait to give him hugs and kisses.

One of these beautiful boys moms laughed when she found out I had another godson and asked if her little boy had a godbrother, to which I replied "I guess that's how it works!"  The idea of these two being brothers in the Lord warmed my heart so much because I love their parents so much that the idea was completely overwhelmingly amazing.  My family really is extended into these little boys and their parents.  They are a part of my heart and a part of my family.  These two being connected in this way made me feel like two of my worlds got tied together and I was so thrilled to imagine this little God family that was created through both of the couples honoring me with this responsibility.

Eli and Aiden,

I am here always.  I love you both so much and can't believe I have the privilege of being your godmother.  I encourage you to dream big and adventure your entire life.  I will even take you on adventures if you want!   I want to be an escape for you and someone you can turn to for advice.  I will always remember you at this age, innocent and so happy.  I will dance with you at your weddings and celebrate life alongside your families.  Never forget that you are dear to me.

Love you so much,

"Aunt" Ryan  

My Mommy's Visit

My mom came for a visit last week and it was so lovely to just be around her.

She came into town for my sister's California Bridal Shower, and I will blog about that wonderful event seperately.  This entry is just to dwell on the wonderful time I had with her.  She stayed with Bill and I in our loft and we spent mornings together eating breakfast and going on walks.  One morning she even helped me through using my sewing machine :)  She drank plain black hot tea and we chatted about life every day before I felt for work.  I also got to spend lunch with her everyday while she was here, which was almost a whole week.  I just love to be around her. It didn't matter where we were, I just loved spending time together.

We got to watch a beach sunset, eat at a few fun restaurants, hang out with extended family and cook a little together.  She is a woman I aspire to be like, and she will genuinely do anything for anyone and never view it as an inconvenience.  I love that.  She literally is never annoyed with what anyone asks of her, she just does it because someone needs it and that is enough of a reason for her.  She never looks into why they do or what they did to get themselves into the position they are in, she just helps because she sees a need. I want to be more like her in that way.

I love my mom so much and cried a lot when I dropped her off at the airport.  Living my life so far away from her seems impossible lately and I miss her more every day, but God continues to reveal to us both why we are where we are and how he is shaping us through the distance and despite it.  I pray one day to live close enough to go over for dinner consistently and to glean from all her knowledge on how to love people well.  Now I will call and text and facetime and make sure to ask good questions.  She is someone I am so so so proud to call mom and even more so one of my best friends.

Love you momma!  

Miss you so much and can't wait for my hug in October!

An Ever Evolving Family Dynamic - My Time in Baltimore

This post took me much longer to get to than I originally intended, but better late than never has always been my motto :)  

The pictures below are from my recent trip to Baltimore, and while there are many more, these are some of my favorites.  The long weekend was full to the brim.  A Bridal shower, a wedding, meeting my godson Eli (pictures and post to come very soon) and quality family time with memories that I will always hold dear to my heart.  It is so amazing to have such a wonderful family to call my own.

Our family dynamic has changed over the years, my brothers (not pictured) and sisters and I have all evolved.  We are getting married, living in new places, and blazing our own trails, and as anyone from a big family knows coming together can be the best thing and the hardest thing because it feels like you know each other so well and not at all.

We are fighting the urge to fall back into our old ways and learn who we are now and how to co-exist in a healthy way.  While that is not always easy, this trip it seemed to be something that clicked more than usual.  Stephen and Nikki welcomed me over to their home and showed me the farmer's market they like to go to.  Christian and Cristina told me all about their lives as parents and what this new phase has meant for them.  Joy told me about school and introduced my family to her dear friend who will be living with my parents for the summer.  I felt like I got a snapshot of everyone's lives.  It was a growing season for us and such an amazing opportunity to get a little deeper.

There are always tears with our goodbyes, but this time felt different.  It was deeper.  I miss my niece, I miss my siblings and I miss my parents in a completely new and adult way.  I want to share meals with them and linger over bottles of wine.  I want to spend more than a weekend around them.  I don't want to catch up, I want to know what is going on in their lives.  However, I love where I live and I love my job and I love my friends.  In this season, we are supposed to be here.  Right now we are where the Lord has us, in a new church that is really feeding us and in a place of humility where we are thankful for everything we are provided with.

One day at a time. It is good to be so loved.