Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Penny For Your Thoughts - Insecure As Ever

Do you remember being 16 and feeling self conscious all the time?  
I always felt unsure and uncomfortable.  
It was awful.
I never fully felt like myself... I was always just trying to fit in.

Well now, as I begin to discover my voice, I am realizing so many things about myself.  I am who I am, and I wish I could say it is unapologetically.  However, I often times find myself apologizing for just being me.  I STILL have trouble with needing acceptance.  I still have trouble wanting to validate everything I do.  I feel as though I have had flashbacks on my teenage years lately.  It is strange to put this in words, but I guess I have realized that I will always struggle with the need for acceptance.  I will always want to be validated.  I want to not need these things, but I often wonder if there is anything wrong with wanting them...

Is it alright to want people to understand and accept you?  
Is it only wrong if you need it versus just wanting it?

I do not see myself the way others see me, but I need to work on that.  I need to see beauty when I look in the mirror, not just the flaws that I wish would be gone.  I truly love myself, in a humble way.  I am proud of my convictions and of the person I have been working to become.  I LOVE being nice and I love that I can smile always.  I love knowing how blessed I am.

Why can't I focus on those things always?  
Why can't I look in the mirror and see those things?

God show me through the beauty of others the way you see me.

1 comment:

  1. I may look like a 26 year old mother of two, but actually I'm a 13 year old girl who loves her rainbow earrings and is self conscious about her hair.