Skip to main content

Be Encouraged - Forgiveness and Apology

I think there is something to be said for actually saying when you are sorry, you were wrong, or you were in denial.  I always hear people say they have moved on, but in reality, they have not - based on their actions, words, or aggression towards the other person.  Even if it is passive aggressive, it is still not a healthy way to approach someone or something. 

I strongly believe, in order to move on in your heart and head and life, you MUST verbally and/or publicly apologize.  People hide behind emails and text messages these days, when what is important is to have the awkward conversation.  Sometimes distance prevents the actual conversation, and an email is all you have.  However, there is something about sitting in front of a person and pouring your heart out to them.  They feel your pain and they see your hurt.  If it is possible, it should be your first resort, not the last one.  Technology prevents honest conversation often.

I recently had an encounter with someone that I constantly claimed I had “moved on” from.  Our friendship disintegrated years ago, and it was something that still burned in my heart.  When I thought of this girl, I cringed.  It was a huge hole and something I needed to address.  I struggled with trust in my female friendships that stemmed directly from this.  I am not proud to say, I spoke unkindly of her – and I realized that was from the hurt I had endured.  However, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR POOR BEHAVIOR.  No one makes you act immature or inconsistent.  Everyone (and I do mean everyone) deserves respect.

I can say with assuredness, that I was not proud of the way I treated this girl.  I sent her an email (which I know I just preached against, but we are 3000 miles away and it was our only option) and took the time to apologize for the way I spoke of her, the way I acted about how our friendship ended, and the way I have been approaching her since.  I told her I loved her and would be praying for her future.  I asked for healing and grace.  She understood and mirrored my feelings.  However, if she had not felt the same way, it did not change the fact that I needed to do it.  It brought healing.  What is equally important is ACTUALLY being sorry.  Get to the point in your spirit where you are humble before the other person, regardless of what they did. 

I want to encourage you today.  Please, for yourself and for others, find forgiveness in your heart.  Mend broken relationships and give people a second chance.  If anyone has popped into your head during this post, please contact them and offer them your love.  Life is fragile and time is precious.


  1. Love this post Ryan! Just had my own 'apology' moment a few weeks ago, and it was the hardest thing to do, considering my aversion to any confrontation whatsoever. :) Going to link this post up to my blog today, if you don't mind? :) Love you long lost sister!

  2. Kel,

    1) I miss you. 2) I would love if you linked up my blog whenever you want, no need to ask permission :) and 3) save the date September 29th. Baltimore. Can't wait for the hug!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Nursery: Whole Hearted Parenting Manifesto

I recently finished a book by Brene Brown titled, DaringGreatly .  It really moved me, and I am definitely still processing it. At the beginning of the book I wasn’t resonating deeply with the topic of vulnerability, as most people will tell you I am an “open book”.  I will answer most questions without holding back and love to deep dive into good conversation.  However, what I came to realize through her many examples is that we all wrestle with vulnerability, guilt and shame throughout this book even if is more momentary than constant.  I gleaned SO MUCH from this book that I did not anticipate, and I thought I would share this Parenting Manifesto that she put right at the end of the book.  I am printing it and framing it for our nursery, as I think it communicates some deep parts of my heart cry for parenting my kiddos well. I hope this resonates with someone else as much as it did with me.   I needed these words to remind me that parenting is not a checklist,

At the Library - May through September 2019 Reading

We had another baby in May (SO much more on that later) and blogging has obviously taken a back seat, but I am still reading for pleasure and have managed, in my sons first four months of life, to complete these 8 books!  Y'all, I remember a time when even completing 2 books a year would have sincerely sounded daunting, much less with a newborn.  If you want to read more, you can find the time!  Take stock of your days and see where you are wasting hours.  For some of these, I listened to the audio book while I was pumping or watering the garden.   Rather than give you an individual breakdown of each of these books, I just want to report I found them all incredibly enjoyable.  A total cross section of a food memoir to a psychology deep dive to nature centric novels, I would recommend them all in different capacities.   We have fallen a bit behind on our Bible reading, but we WILL finish by the end of the year. You do not make it to September

Fall Flavors - Food I Ate Friday

I started off the week with a post about fall, and I'm ending it that way too.  Get used to it, I love fall! :) This week I was walking around the grocery store getting the usual suspects, and I stopped dead in my tracks while looking at creamer - peppermint mocha creamer was back on the shelf! Fall is here (and winter is right around the corner!)  I then started walking through the store and found a bunch of fall items.  I bought the creamer and made peppermint hot chocolate, and I could not contain my excitement. I always hear people excited to get their pumpkin spice lattes and I wish I shared in that excitement, but it doesnt matter because other treats tempt me.  Whatever your fall flavor may be, go out and treat yourself!  Get in the spirit.  Snuggle up under a blnaket.  Watch a movie with colorful leaves in a scene.  Drink a warm drink.  Wear a scarf.  Whatever it takes :)  Enjoy it! Tomato Soup, Peppermint Creamer, and a Cranberry