Skip to main content

Life Lessons - My Fears Revealed

Debt.

What a scary word.  It stands out in my mind as one of the hardest things for me to get past mentally.  I already have debt in my life.  While my car is (FINALLY) paid off, I have school debt and credit card debt.  It feels like it will never end because as soon as some of this debt begins to disappear, I will be picking up a mortgage; life always seems to get in the way of paying things off.

Every American seems to have problems similar to this.  However, I am trying so hard to not live outside of my means.  I am not trying to impress people.  My debt is simply a whirlwind of things that I actually need, not clothes and accessories and material possessions, but a car that runs, gas to get to work, and food to eat.  How did I get so far behind?  Why can I not just make a payment plan and not stress about it?  I am not nearly as in debt as others around me, and I still find myself believing I am worse off.

Does anyone else struggle with fear that God does not have control over their finances?  This has always been a problem for me.  I can give God control over almost all areas of my life, but I need to release my grip on this one.  Prayers would be helpful, although I know it is in my hands.  I know I can take control of this situation.  I have the money, I just need to accept the vast amount of time things take.  It will not happen overnight and it will be a difficult process of sacrificing other things to pay for what I need. 


Learning and growing and changing and maturing.  It is a continuous process.  Some days I feel like I have it all figured out, and sometimes I am overwhelmed from the moment I wake up in the morning.  This life lesson is not an open and shut case.  It will always be something I am rediscovering.

Comments

  1. I for sure have struggled with fear that God does not have control over my finances ... It is a daily process to give it up to Him! It took me a few years to figure it all out and slowly I am getting out of the "Debt Umbrella". Dave Ramsey is the man! I HIGHLY recommend his Financial Peace University (http://www.daveramsey.com/fpu). The grip is hard to release but if you do it slowly it won't be as painful and God will show you how to gain control in this area of your life :) - Wixy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Doesn't it stink when you look at that giant pile of bills and realize you did almost nothing "fun" with that money.
    Really makes you feel like a grown up. For example, we currently have an almost maxed out credit card. No, we are not proud of this, yes we make huge payments every month to try to pay it down. But you know what we spent all that money on, School, cars, and groceries. No new clothes, no fancy electronic toys. Just grown up stuff.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Nursery: Whole Hearted Parenting Manifesto

I recently finished a book by Brene Brown titled, DaringGreatly
It really moved me, and I am definitely still processing it.
At the beginning of the book I wasn’t resonating deeply with the topic of vulnerability, as most people will tell you I am an “open book”.  I will answer most questions without holding back and love to deep dive into good conversation.  However, what I came to realize through her many examples is that we all wrestle with vulnerability, guilt and shame throughout this book even if is more momentary than constant.  I gleaned SO MUCH from this book that I did not anticipate, and I thought I would share this Parenting Manifesto that she put right at the end of the book.  I am printing it and framing it for our nursery, as I think it communicates some deep parts of my heart cry for parenting my kiddos well.

I hope this resonates with someone else as much as it did with me.  
I needed these words to remind me that parenting is not a checklist, it is a lifestyle.  …

A Penny For Your Thoughts - On Insecurity and Looking Back

I have felt compelled to write about something lately, and been shying away from it, which is not my typical style.  As I look back over my life, I have recently realized that I finally feel like "enough".  I know my worth is in the Lord and I know I am beautiful and worth people's time, but that has not always been my story.  Far too often from the ages of 12 to 30, I defined my worth by whether someone was interested in dating me or not and after I got married, whether people "liked me" and wanted to be my friend or to hire me.  Was I pretty enough?  Interesting enough? Worth someone's time?  Talented enough?  Smart enough? etc...
Recently, as pictures pop up in my Timehop (an app that shows pictures taken the same day as far back as it can reach through social media and the camera roll on my phone), I distinctly remember feeling like I was either fat or unattractive in most pictures.  I remember being embarrassed of my pants size.  I remember wearing to…

At the Library - May through September 2019 Reading

We had another baby in May (SO much more on that later) and blogging has obviously taken a back seat, but I am still reading for pleasure and have managed, in my sons first four months of life, to complete these 8 books!  Y'all, I remember a time when even completing 2 books a year would have sincerely sounded daunting, much less with a newborn.  If you want to read more, you can find the time!  Take stock of your days and see where you are wasting hours.  For some of these, I listened to the audio book while I was pumping or watering the garden.  
Rather than give you an individual breakdown of each of these books, I just want to report I found them all incredibly enjoyable.  A total cross section of a food memoir to a psychology deep dive to nature centric novels, I would recommend them all in different capacities.