Skip to main content

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Breathe In...

I love the fact that I do not have to think about breathing.  It just happens every day, even in my sleep.  I do not have to think about digestion either.  Whether or not everything is going to be ok when I am eating, is not a thought that crosses my mind.  I just eat, and then go about my daily life.  I have the use of all my limbs, I have a family who loves me, I have an intellect to comprehend life, meaning, and reason within myself, I have a boy who loves me and dreams in my mind.  These are all things I take for granted.  Is it possible to live in a way that always shows love and affection to those around you? Or is that a pipe dream?  Jesus did it.  Should we be able to?  I guess working towards it is the uphill battle we are supposed to embark on…

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” has never rung more true for me.  Those that surround me today and in my daily life are beautiful.  I do not mean to sound like a hippy with her head in the clouds, but just a blessed girl who is coming to terms with what is really important in life.  While others may look into my life and not have even an ounce of jealousy, I see it as something to covet.  I guess you could say I’m “counting my blessings”.  I tend to focus on what I want to change, where my career path is going, who is bothering me on a day to basis, what I could be doing to be a better friend or sister or girlfriend, and how I could be more efficient with my time, money, and talents.  Everyone has things to be thankful for, but most complain about what they do not have. 

As I watch friends and family stress over money, popularity, possessions, Christmas, and the like; I can’t help but realize what I am stressing over is the same book just on a different page.  I understand first hand that those things make it easier to enjoy life, but I would hate to see someone I know and love let life pass them by worrying about things to come.  Wait for nothing is a mentality I am trying to adopt.  “Live today as if it is your last day” is something that has always sounded cheesy to me, but the more I think about it the more I agree with it as a bold statement in a good way.  Life is too short to hold grudges, let things hurt your feelings for a long time, or treat people in a way that you would not like to be treated.  Letting go and forgiveness should be at the forefront of our hearts, not something we have to drag up out of the depths every once in awhile.

I guess I am working through all this as I write it and that is making this entry come out as a string of thoughts with no cohesion.  I don’t care.  Sometimes I feel like life is not cohesive and that forcing it to be something it is not is part of what causes tension in our own circles.  Things may not line up and make sense and be perfect, and living within the reality of that will make it a lot easier to cope when everything does not go according to plan. 
I love watching people live this.  I love working at living this better. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In the Nursery: Whole Hearted Parenting Manifesto

I recently finished a book by Brene Brown titled, DaringGreatly .  It really moved me, and I am definitely still processing it. At the beginning of the book I wasn’t resonating deeply with the topic of vulnerability, as most people will tell you I am an “open book”.  I will answer most questions without holding back and love to deep dive into good conversation.  However, what I came to realize through her many examples is that we all wrestle with vulnerability, guilt and shame throughout this book even if is more momentary than constant.  I gleaned SO MUCH from this book that I did not anticipate, and I thought I would share this Parenting Manifesto that she put right at the end of the book.  I am printing it and framing it for our nursery, as I think it communicates some deep parts of my heart cry for parenting my kiddos well. I hope this resonates with someone else as much as it did with me.   I needed these words to remind me that parenting is not a checklist,

A Penny For Your Thoughts - On Insecurity and Looking Back

23 Years Old and so Insecure - 10 Years Ago I have felt compelled to write about something lately, and been shying away from it, which is not my typical style.  As I look back over my life, I have recently realized that I finally feel like "enough".  I know my worth is in the Lord and I know I am beautiful and worth people's time, but that has not always been my story.  Far too often from the ages of 12 to 30, I defined my worth by whether someone was interested in dating me or not and after I got married, whether people "liked me" and wanted to be my friend or to hire me.  Was I pretty enough?  Interesting enough? Worth someone's time?  Talented enough?  Smart enough? etc... Recently, as pictures pop up in my Timehop (an app that shows pictures taken the same day as far back as it can reach through social media and the camera roll on my phone), I distinctly remember feeling like I was either fat or unattractive in most pictures.  I remember being

At the Library - May through September 2019 Reading

We had another baby in May (SO much more on that later) and blogging has obviously taken a back seat, but I am still reading for pleasure and have managed, in my sons first four months of life, to complete these 8 books!  Y'all, I remember a time when even completing 2 books a year would have sincerely sounded daunting, much less with a newborn.  If you want to read more, you can find the time!  Take stock of your days and see where you are wasting hours.  For some of these, I listened to the audio book while I was pumping or watering the garden.   Rather than give you an individual breakdown of each of these books, I just want to report I found them all incredibly enjoyable.  A total cross section of a food memoir to a psychology deep dive to nature centric novels, I would recommend them all in different capacities.   We have fallen a bit behind on our Bible reading, but we WILL finish by the end of the year. You do not make it to September