Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Breathe In...

I love the fact that I do not have to think about breathing.  It just happens every day, even in my sleep.  I do not have to think about digestion either.  Whether or not everything is going to be ok when I am eating, is not a thought that crosses my mind.  I just eat, and then go about my daily life.  I have the use of all my limbs, I have a family who loves me, I have an intellect to comprehend life, meaning, and reason within myself, I have a boy who loves me and dreams in my mind.  These are all things I take for granted.  Is it possible to live in a way that always shows love and affection to those around you? Or is that a pipe dream?  Jesus did it.  Should we be able to?  I guess working towards it is the uphill battle we are supposed to embark on…

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” has never rung more true for me.  Those that surround me today and in my daily life are beautiful.  I do not mean to sound like a hippy with her head in the clouds, but just a blessed girl who is coming to terms with what is really important in life.  While others may look into my life and not have even an ounce of jealousy, I see it as something to covet.  I guess you could say I’m “counting my blessings”.  I tend to focus on what I want to change, where my career path is going, who is bothering me on a day to basis, what I could be doing to be a better friend or sister or girlfriend, and how I could be more efficient with my time, money, and talents.  Everyone has things to be thankful for, but most complain about what they do not have. 

As I watch friends and family stress over money, popularity, possessions, Christmas, and the like; I can’t help but realize what I am stressing over is the same book just on a different page.  I understand first hand that those things make it easier to enjoy life, but I would hate to see someone I know and love let life pass them by worrying about things to come.  Wait for nothing is a mentality I am trying to adopt.  “Live today as if it is your last day” is something that has always sounded cheesy to me, but the more I think about it the more I agree with it as a bold statement in a good way.  Life is too short to hold grudges, let things hurt your feelings for a long time, or treat people in a way that you would not like to be treated.  Letting go and forgiveness should be at the forefront of our hearts, not something we have to drag up out of the depths every once in awhile.

I guess I am working through all this as I write it and that is making this entry come out as a string of thoughts with no cohesion.  I don’t care.  Sometimes I feel like life is not cohesive and that forcing it to be something it is not is part of what causes tension in our own circles.  Things may not line up and make sense and be perfect, and living within the reality of that will make it a lot easier to cope when everything does not go according to plan. 
I love watching people live this.  I love working at living this better. 

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