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Processing our Chicken Processing

For years now, Bill and I have discussed getting our own meat chickens.  We wanted to know it all.  What the process looked like, what our food ate, control their environment and make them feel safe and loved during their short life.  We wanted to give ourselves to them and sacrifice our time to them since they very quickly give their lives in order for us to be sustained. 

Well 10 weeks ago we got meat chickens chicks and yesterday was our first processing day.  We learned the process of getting a chicken to alive and well to packaged and in the fridge.  It was very educational and also emotional, as we raised these birds from two days old.

I will never forget how I felt taking a birds life to feed my family.  It hit my soul in a unique way and I want to stay fresh to that pain.  After I held the knife and looked at the bird and burst into tears.  Our farm mentor said "I would be worried about you if you didn't feel emotions."  I stood still for a few moments giving ho…
Recent posts
What has changed since I last wrote?  I looked back to see lots of posts revolving around what I was reading (which I would love to continue to document here or you can follow along on Goodreads because I log everything there!).  I posted about food often as well.  I was forcing myself to think of this space as "themed and content" driven, but what I really want/need is a journal type format to mind dump.  I have a lot on my mind!  I know people will read these words (maybe just a handful of people, but people still the same!) and my new goals are simple vulnerability and honesty.  Please read with grace for a person in process.  
I think the biggest thing I am learning in this season is if something is a priority, you make time for it.  If it is not, you won't.  I have had quite a few people ask me how I have time to read with 2 little kids and a farm to manage and I tell them, I just do.  I just read a little bit here and there and listen to audio books while I am far…

At the Library - May through September 2019 Reading

We had another baby in May (SO much more on that later) and blogging has obviously taken a back seat, but I am still reading for pleasure and have managed, in my sons first four months of life, to complete these 8 books!  Y'all, I remember a time when even completing 2 books a year would have sincerely sounded daunting, much less with a newborn.  If you want to read more, you can find the time!  Take stock of your days and see where you are wasting hours.  For some of these, I listened to the audio book while I was pumping or watering the garden.  
Rather than give you an individual breakdown of each of these books, I just want to report I found them all incredibly enjoyable.  A total cross section of a food memoir to a psychology deep dive to nature centric novels, I would recommend them all in different capacities.  



At the Library - April 2019 Reading

This book impacted me deeply - Brene Brown's insights into vulnerability and courage were astounding in so many ways.  I am still processing it all, but I find it coming up in conversation often, which shows how applicable it is to any and all people.  
I fully intend to read (and purchase) every other book she has written, as I believe I would refer to them often and I am so grateful for the research she has done and the impact it has had on many.  I also have on my to-do list to watch her Netflix special and TED talk.  
I cannot recommend this book enough.

The first of two books I read for book club this month, this one left me tired at the end of the journey.  I often felt like the subject could not catch a break and there were parts that were really difficult to read.  However, I liked the unpredictability of it and I liked that it wasn't all buttoned up and felt raw and realistic, even if some of it was far fetched in theory.
Since reading this I have heard it mentioned …

Practicing Delayed Gratification

Delay of Gratification is defined by encyclopedia Brittanica as the act of resisting an impulse to take an immediately available reward in the hope of obtaining a more-valued reward in the future. The ability to delay gratification is essential to self-regulation, or self-control.
Bill and I have been discussing this idea quite a bit lately.  How our culture has become a culture of immediate gratification.  If we want something, we buy it.  Everything is available at the tip of our fingers.  When birthdays or the holidays come around and I am asking what people would like, no one needs anything, they just want more things or more stuff.  Some don't even have anything they want because they wait for nothing.  We purchase to excess.  We cannot fit our stuff in our homes and they take over our garages.  One of the biggest items looked for in new homes in storage.
However, this goes well beyond material possessions.  If we want something specific to eat, we just go buy it, or even bet…

A Penny For Your Thoughts - On Insecurity and Looking Back

I have felt compelled to write about something lately, and been shying away from it, which is not my typical style.  As I look back over my life, I have recently realized that I finally feel like "enough".  I know my worth is in the Lord and I know I am beautiful and worth people's time, but that has not always been my story.  Far too often from the ages of 12 to 30, I defined my worth by whether someone was interested in dating me or not and after I got married, whether people "liked me" and wanted to be my friend or to hire me.  Was I pretty enough?  Interesting enough? Worth someone's time?  Talented enough?  Smart enough? etc...
Recently, as pictures pop up in my Timehop (an app that shows pictures taken the same day as far back as it can reach through social media and the camera roll on my phone), I distinctly remember feeling like I was either fat or unattractive in most pictures.  I remember being embarrassed of my pants size.  I remember wearing to…

In the Nursery: Whole Hearted Parenting Manifesto

I recently finished a book by Brene Brown titled, DaringGreatly
It really moved me, and I am definitely still processing it.
At the beginning of the book I wasn’t resonating deeply with the topic of vulnerability, as most people will tell you I am an “open book”.  I will answer most questions without holding back and love to deep dive into good conversation.  However, what I came to realize through her many examples is that we all wrestle with vulnerability, guilt and shame throughout this book even if is more momentary than constant.  I gleaned SO MUCH from this book that I did not anticipate, and I thought I would share this Parenting Manifesto that she put right at the end of the book.  I am printing it and framing it for our nursery, as I think it communicates some deep parts of my heart cry for parenting my kiddos well.

I hope this resonates with someone else as much as it did with me.  
I needed these words to remind me that parenting is not a checklist, it is a lifestyle.  …